IDK...

I don't know what to write about. There's about a million things that are running through my head that I want to talk about.

I want to talk about my family. I love my family. I love my mom, my dad, my siblings, my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, my grandparents. I have a great family. A lot of the time though, I feel like I don't fit in with my immediate family, and this feeling has been for most of my life, not just part of converting. I have never been able to create any sort of a relationship with my siblings, and as much as it pains me, I don't really know what to do about it.

I want to talk about my friends. In the past six  months, I have found out so much about friendship. I have discovered who my true friends are, realized that "friends" may just use me and take advantage of me, and I think I have discovered what it means to be a true friend to another.

I want to talk about my Thomas. He is the most amazing person I have ever met and has changed my life and who I am in countless positive ways. To say that I love him would be a grand understatement. He is the sun in my sky, and every day he is gone my heart aches for him. Every day that passes without hearing his voice, feeling his touch, seeing his smile, hurts. But our relationship has grown into a deeper entirely new level that I can't explain and that I am extremely grateful for.

I want to talk about my faith. I want to talk about my love for my Heavenly Father and His love for me and for all of us. I want to talk about the awesomeness that is the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My Savior brings me peace, comfort, and love and one day I will be with him in the Celestial Kingdom. One day I will be sealed for eternity to my husband and my children and we will be together forever.

I want to talk about school. About living in the dorms as an RA. About going through the application process of becomming a Hall Manager. About the torture of writing history essays. About my staff and my friends I have made at college, and how I thought no one would be able to be as awesome as my high school friends - - Man was I so so completely wrong!

I want to talk about books. I love to read, and I think everyone needs to read as much as their lives allow. It gives a way to escape the stress and fast-paced world around us. It allows our imaginations to stay active and create pictures in our minds.

I want to talk about my hopes and dreams. How I hope to one day be an amazing mom and wife. How I hope to change the lives of the students I teach for the better. How I hope to inspire people to see the beauty and wonder in the world around us. How I hope to one day have a library in my house. ;) How I hope to one day have many puppies. How I hope that one day war will stop and peace will reign - even though that sounds cliche and corny...

I want to talk about me. I want to talk about my passions - passion for life, for nature, for books, for dreams, for thunderstorms, for animals, for love, for everything! I want to talk about how I've grown, or changed, or what I've discovered about myself. For instance, I've been learning lately to be more assertive, to not be such a pushover and let people walk all over me. I want to talk about what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what makes me angry, and what makes me laugh.

I don't really know where to start or how to write about stuff. I am not used to this...I journal, but that's different. The only one who reads that is me, and I usually write as if I'm writing to God. I don't know, I'm still learning how to do this whole blogging thing...maybe its not for me...