So yesterday I went with my cousin to go shopping for her wedding dress!! It was sooo much fun!! It was my cousin Mallory, me, our other cousin Jenn, Mallory's mom and my mom. It got me soo excited for Mallory's wedding! She is getting married July 23, 2011 and buying the dress yesterday (yes, she found THE dress!!) made it seem soo close, so real! It was so exciting! It also got me very excited for my own wedding, of course.
As I've explained before, my parents said they want nothing to do with my wedding and that they're not coming...all because I'm Mormon, according to my mother. Well, since that fiasco of an argument a couple months ago, things have improved with the situation. My dad frequently references our Father/Daughter dance we are going to have, which I am going to assume means he has now decided that he will be at my wedding after all. My mother has said that she will go dress shopping with me now, and I am hoping that extends to her actually coming to the wedding too.
I am soo happy that my mom will go dress shopping with me! That is the biggest part about planning a wedding and I would be crushed if she wasn't there...but I want Lesley, Tom's mom, to be there too. I love Lesley, she's like a second mom to me. She's always made me feel a part of the family and welcome in the home. Sometimes, on really hard days, weeks, or months, she has even been more of a mom to me than my own, as much as I hate to say that...I feel like that makes me sound ungrateful towards my mom or that I don't love her, which is so very much not the case. It would mean a lot to me that Lesley comes dress shopping with me.
Here's the problem: my family and Tom's family absolutely do not get along. We've tried to have dinner together, I think twice, to bring our families together, but it just doesn't work. I think my parents resent Tom's parents for "stealing" me, as they would probably see it, and I think they blame Tom's parents for my conversion. Well, I know that my mom blames them, particularly Lesley, and I am assuming my dad feels the same way. So, when we were shopping, it took a lot of courage for me to ask my mom if Lesley could come dress shopping with us when it was my turn to shop for my own wedding dress; I knew what her answer would be...at least I thought I did.
It wasn't just a "no." It was an "absolutely not" and it didn't stop there. She started ranting and raving about how I could ask that and that she won't even be speaking to Lesley at the rehearsal dinner or the wedding or anything and she is not welcome to come dress shopping. That hurt me. These are two very important people in my life and I want nothing more than for them to get along. And it's frustrating because I know it's all my mom that's making it difficult. It's her stubborness. And it makes me worried. I am worried that it's going to ruin our wedding. I don't know what to do about it. I can't force our parents together, can't force them to get along. I can't force my mom to see how great of a person Lesley is. My mom doesn't understand that becoming Mormon was my own personal decision. And the frustrating part is, I can't explain that to her. Any time religion comes up, she just gets angry and yells and we fight. She refuses to listen to me. It's exhausting...but, I have at least a year and a half to work on things, make things better. Wish me luck!
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