His Last Day of Freedom

Thomas had to write a narrative for his English class a little while ago.

What did he write about?

His proposal.

I had to beg and beg and beg,

But he finally agreed to let me post it.
And it seems only fitting to post now, exactly one month before we tie the knot!

It's the proposal from his point of view: the prep for it and the actual event.

I thought it was pretty dang amazing, even teared up at several parts (particularly the end...), but hey, I'm probably biased.

So here it is: Thomas' Story...

My last day of freedom: the best choice of my life. Katie and I had been dating for a little over five years. I had been serving a mission for the last two, minus the past few weeks. Both of us wanted to be married by this point but obstacles, mainly the mission, had postponed that desire. With that hurdle out of the way I had swiftly gone and bought Katie a ring, but with no immediate idea of when, where or how I was going to ask her to marry me. Many speak of life without marriage as freedom; I am here to prove them wrong. When both sides put their heart and soul into a relationship it will work out. And when all you want is for the other to be happy there is nothing to escape from, and no freedom to receive by leaving it. That is not the only issue with men’s thought processes about marriage. A man proposing in a “cute” or “romantic” way seems to be a thing of the past. Some will still take their future wives on a date, even get on one knee, but to take the extra effort to make the night truly memorable is almost too much to ask. For me, although it was a little rushed, I did everything possible to make it a day not easy to forget.

I woke up on a beautiful summer day, the bright noonday sun shining on my face, to a text from Katie. "I’m actually going! I'm going wedding dress shopping with the girls Friday!!!" It took a couple of seconds to register, but all of a sudden horror filled my soul. How could she go shopping before I've proposed?! Three days... wait no, two. We're both busy on Thursday. Really only one and a half... today is half over, and I can't plan with Katie around. Crawling out of bed and lazily eating breakfast as I stared into space was no longer an option. I was only partly right about that. The minutes seemed like hours as I sat there and pondered on how to propose. I still stared, just at a blank piece of paper. Nothing was coming to me. Nothing. I caught myself thinking about everything the two of us had been through over the past five years. All the fun we'd had, and the heartbreak we'd put each other through. "Were we doing the right thing? Am I good enough for her?” I had hundreds of negative questions running through my head. So much had happened and there was as much positive as negative; hopefully more. All along we had been slowly being prepared for this day and our future. I am still a little surprised as to what that preparation included, but because of it the future is exciting.

Anything spectacular was out of the question. I didn't have a penny to my name. This wasn't going to be as simple as in high school. Or could it be? That was it! I had put enough thought and effort into making special days REALLY special throughout our relationship that I could work off of those. I would put a little bit of everything into my proposal, all the way down to the Taco Bell hot sauce packets. My biggest hurdle was where to do it. It had to be in the high school; otherwise everything else would seem mediocre at best. The time for sitting around had officially ended. I could already feel my heart racing before I had even risen to my feet. I rushed back downstairs. "I should probably shower," I thought, "there's no time!" my thoughts unconsciously becoming a whisper to myself. Going back and forth with myself I decided taking an extra ten minutes to look considerably better would give me a higher chance of being allowed into the school; if there was anyone to talk to at all.

As I drove my heart was pounding in my chest. I tried looking every direction at the same time. I just knew there had to be a cop waiting for me, just out of sight. As I rounded the last corner, pulling into the parking lot, my mind slowed just enough to think of the task ahead. The reminder of the task came so quickly that it gave my heart no time to relax. I had the car in park before the car was fully stopped, jolting me forward a little and making me miss the car keys as I went to turn the car off. I jumped out of the car and ran for the door. To my relief it was unlocked. I briskly walked up and passed what looked like a teacher, she didn't question so I wasn't going to waste my time telling. I headed straight for the office, skipping steps as I climbed the stairs. To my delight I found my old counselor. I told her my plans to propose to Katie the following day, but I needed to get into the school. Twice. With her help we finalized the imagination part of the planning, making it fool-proof. I was going to be interviewed for a job opening by John; the head custodian at the school. I walked away a little calmer, yet I knew that I still had the task of creating all that I had envisioned.

Katie still had a few hours of work left so I would be able to get into her house without having to explain too much. Judy, Katie’s mum, was there as usual. As she let me in I explained that I needed Dumbo; the “cuddle buddy” I had bought Katie with a zip-up pouch in the back. Katie used it to store the jewelry I had bought her. It would be a perfect addition to the recreation of old times. Finally I ran to Target and bought a box of cake mix and two mirrors. Randomly I had “broken in” to Katie’s locker before school one day and put two mirrors facing each other inside. On the back of one I had written “I will love you forever” and on the front of it I had written “and ever” making it appear written an infinite amount of times if the reader stood with their head next to the mirror. I was done getting all that was needed. Now, with a little luck, a hopeful heart, and a stubborn mind, I would get this done.

The sun was not quite as bright, and it didn't feel like the middle of June as I stepped outside heading out to prepare the day. Luckily my hair was all over the place that morning so I had stuck on a hoodie to hide it, but my legs were still shivering a little, or shaking. There was nothing to be nervous about yet. The cupcakes had turned out perfectly, thanks to mum. I had counted and recounted the hot sauce packets they were all there, and a couple of extra ones just in case. I had the mirrors and the marker, the scissors and the tape. The notes were written and mum and I had read over them. I turned back towards my car and placed everything on the ground. I stood by my car for a second deciding where I wanted to place everything to ensure a safe drive. Speeding was definitely not going to happen. Everything was placed a safe distance apart, and I put the cupcakes in the passenger seat. As I reached over to take hold of the pan of cupcakes I thought of all the times I had held Katie's hand as I drove. Everything had to go perfectly. As I got to the school and spoke to my counselor I quickly went over everything once more. She had spoken to John. She had reminded him to tell his staff not to throw away random food hanging in and around lockers. As we finished speaking I rushed to start on the poem. “TO MY KATIE JO” was written on my first piece of paper. She had missed it when I had asked her to prom, but her friend had noticed it luckily. This time would be the same, except it would be my counselor. Each piece of paper would give Katie a little more poetic instruction. As the last piece was hung I rushed towards the staircase to start setting up the mini prizes she would find within the scavenger hunt: the cupcakes. As I turned around the corner on third floor I went to the first locker that caught my eye. I placed my first cupcake inside with the letter "W" on it, shut the locker, and hung one yellow hot sauce packet, with the words “I love you” printed on them, from its door. I had used hundreds of them to make many hearts for her over the years. From there I decided Katie would get the idea and made the second locker a little harder to find, this time with an "I" cupcake and two hot sauces. As I put the fourth cupcake in the locker I headed down to second floor for the second word. Three cupcakes this time, and "Y" "O" "U" was now ready to be found. I started to sweat as I reached the first floor. I was getting a lot more nervous about the outcome of all of this. She would say yes of course, but the issue was her reaction. Was it enough to be memorable? As I placed the second "R" the stress of it all was close to overwhelming. I was breathing heavily, but I had only been walking to each locker. What if we can't get everything ready for the wedding? What happens if we don't even make it to the wedding? Can this proposal be part of the deciding factor? Stupid questions to get caught up in, but yes today doesn’t mean I’m right for her tomorrow. Everything had to go perfectly. I stuck the "E" inside and a red hot sauce packet in and sprinted upstairs to place the word "FORVER" back on second floor. As I knelt down beside the bench I thought of Katie’s excitement as she had read the poem going down the hall and seeing me at the end. Half the school had been standing there as she said yes to going to prom with me. As I placed the paper behind the bench I took a moment to think if I had forgotten anything. And with nothing left to do I headed out to prepare for a date with the love of my life.

For the second time in 24 hours she made my heart stop as I caught sight of her beautiful eyes and her long curly brown hair. Katie had on a dark blue, long sleeved shirt that hugged tightly around her body with a few inches of a white tank top visible at the bottom, with a pair of grey-blue 3/4 length jeans that fit perfectly. I don't remember the shoes. She looked absolutely stunning. I was wearing a nice button up shirt and a pair of decent looking jeans. A little dressed up for a movie, but I had a job interview to go to right afterwards and she had to come with me. The movie was good, I think, to me it was no more than a distraction, a way to fill exactly two hours and fifteen minutes, and not have time to talk about the nonexistent interview.

The problems started on our way out of the movie theater. Katie had come to the conclusion that it would be best if she didn't come in with me to wait for the interview. "But, but, but... I promised my counselor she would get to meet you." I stuttered. "You can sit in her office and talk to her while you wait, there's nothing unprofessional about that." After a few minutes of lying through my teeth I had convinced her to come in. With one last protest as we got out of the car, Katie was holding my hand as we walked into the high school. The real theatrics started as we strolled into Mrs. Hernandez' office. "Katie this is my counselor, Mrs. Hernandez. Mrs. Hernandez, Katie." Just as we sat down I decided I had a sudden urge to use the bathroom and briskly walked out the door, and as soon as I was out of sight I sprinted for the back of the school where my Mum and Sammie were waiting for me. John came to Mrs. Hernandez' office looking for me, and since I was not there Katie and Mrs. Hernandez decided to go get me. As they headed down the main hallway Katie saw her name on the wall. She read the poem of instructions going down the hallway and headed to the third floor. We waited patiently for Katie to come upstairs, complete the task, and head back down. Then came the second hurdle: none of us saw her go downstairs. What if she didn't get it? What if she was still there? Five minutes seemed like eternity. Something had to be done. I bolted from the stairs to the next hallway. If she was there, and was looking, she would have seen me, but not likely. I snuck up the hallway, hiding behind anything I possibly could. When I reached the lockers Katie wasn't there, and now I had wasted precious time and we had to move fast. Hopefully she was no further than the second floor, still searching for “Y” “O” “U”. I sprinted back to Mum and Sammie, grabbed the bags and headed back to the lockers. I opened up the center locker. Placed Dumbo at the bottom of the locker facing outwards and the zipper undone. The ring was in its box with the box open sitting half inside Dumbo, making the ring visible as soon as the locker was opened. I stuck the first mirror to the back of the locker at the top, and hung the second inside facing the first. The words "and ever" reflected an infinite amount of times once again, but this time it was the end of a question. I quickly went to work on making a question mark the size of a large child, made of hot sauces with the words “Will you marry me?” printed on them. When completed, the message was clear. As I sat out of sight, I hoped Katie had found all the cupcakes and the bench-hidden “FOREVER.” And most importantly, that she would come up the right stairs. As Katie picked up the extra "I Love You" hot sauce packets that led from the stairs to her final stop. She found no more packets hanging from the locker but plenty lying in front of it; she knew which to open. As she did I rose from the other side with the words "Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone. I love you, and that's all I really know..." from Taylor Swift's 'Love Story' playing in the background. Our eyes met and the world melted away. All fear was gone and I was filled with incomprehensible joy. I went to one knee and I gave my freedom away with the words "Katie Jo Barthel, Will you marry me?" With tears streaming down her face, and a beaming smile, came the beautiful words “Of course.” Breathless once again, I held my fiancée. We stood there for what felt like eternity, yet was only an instant. I glanced over at my mum just in time to see her wipe a few tears away also. I kissed Katie softly on the forehead and we carried everything out to the car. As the sun hit my chest I felt the warmth of wonderful days ahead. My life, our life, was going to be amazing.

Behind the scene of excitement there lies a layer of seriousness. Some say that this is the dumbest choice anyone could ever make. Many would say it is a stupid choice for someone as young as I am to make. And most would say that if they had gone through what I went through that it would have been over long before this day. "True love doesn't exist" cry the critics. "Be free, have some fun" they continue. Everyone hear this: true love is real. Sure it is not bliss every day, and it takes a hell of a lot of effort that the average man or woman is not willing to put in. But when has the average heart or head ever made it anywhere? It takes honesty and courage, stamina and boldness. Love is not for the lazy or the stubborn. But it is for anyone that wants to be truly happy. Love is shown through the smallest act of kindness to the biggest surprise of the year. The best day of my life was the day I gave my "freedom" away. I choose to have Katie and only Katie because Katie is all I will ever need to be filled with incomprehensible joy. And the days that are hardest on us are the days where I am thinking of me too much. Freedom is still there, anyone can do anything they want, while they're married or engaged, as they could while dating. But if losing your "freedom" is your mindset you need to change your attitude. It’s the best day of your life and you are lucky to have the person you’re with. There’s no real joy in the freedom you’re sorry to leave. Now if you are one that sees the beauty of true love, hardship is a part of it, but don’t be discouraged at the hard times, instead only gather in as much happiness as possible from the good times.

“To live with gratitude ever in your heart is to touch heaven.” ~Thomas S. Monson