Desperation

So I got into work on Target Saturday and really struggled fighting back the tears.

The first thing I did when I walked in, was I went to check the "Swap Shift" board for some shifts to pick up.

As I was flipping through, I passed Friday March 2nd...and the tears started welling up.

Allow me to explain the background story...

...For Valentine's Day, Thomas got me tickets for Disney on Ice.

For this Friday, March 2.

He spent over $100 on them.

Well, because they were a surprise, I didn't get the notice to take off work.

But, luckily, almost as soon as I put my shift up on the "Swap Shift" board, another team member signed up to take my shift for me.

And Thomas was planning on skipping class that night.

So what did this mean??

For the first time since the semester started, Thomas & I were going to have a night together.

And not just any night, we were going to have a big, out on the town, get dressed up & go out, kinda date night.

We never see each other.

Ever.

Today?

He got up at 6am to read scriptures & eat breakfast with me, then at 6:30 I was out the door, and we won't see each other the rest of the night. He'll come home about 11pm, when I'll be well asleep, getting ready to get up at 5am for the next day.

See what I mean about the opposite schedule thing?

I'm sooo stinkin' sick of it. 

So, this date night is a big deal.

Or at least it was a big deal.

Because when I walked into work Saturday, 

And looked at the board,

the gentleman who had signed up to take my shift, had crossed off his name.

So I was back to working Friday.

Did I mention I had also picked up another shift on Saturday?
To make up for giving up my shift Friday?
So now, not only am I not able to some much needed time with my hubby Friday night, 

I am also working a double the next day.

I broke down at work. 
My bubble was completely popped.

I went out to my car on my break, and bawled to Thomas over the phone. 

I am soooo tired of never seeing my husband.

Never having more than a few moments together.

Words cannot express how excited I was for this night with him.

As I was leaving the house Saturday, I was talking to his mum,

telling her how the only thing keeping moving through these weeks is knowing Friday Thomas & I were going to Disney on Ice and having a wonderful date night together.

Ten minutes later my heart broke.

I can't give up hope yet.

It's only Monday.

I have a few more days to find someone to take my shift.

Soooo...to any Target peeps that may be reading this...

....wanna work Friday for me???

It's a short shift, only 5-10 - so you don't even have to stay to close after!

This is me begging.

On my knees.

I will bribe you.

Name your price.

Candy?

Food Ave Pizza?

I'm desperate.

I need this time with my husband.

Desperately.

Pleeeeeaaaase??

River Falls Bound!

I don't usually get all that excited for the weekend.

When you work in retail, weekends don't really mean anything.

They're not really all that special.

BUT.

Buuuuuuuut.

Tomorrow is an incredibly exciting day.

And I've been counting down to this weekend for quite a while now.
It's one of the few weekends I've actually been excited for.

You see, this time tomorrow, I'll be back in River Falls.

Words cannot express my excitement.

It has been far too long since I've seen my girls.

Far too long since I've walked the halls of Prucha.

It's weird.

I don't feel like a college student at all these days.

I feel like a grownup.

I miss it so much.

SO. Much.

I miss the social aspect of everything.

I have no life these days.

My life is work.

Daytime at the middle school, nights & weekends at Target.

If I'm not at Target, I'm working on stuff for school.

Even if I wasn't working so much,

I still wouldn't have a social life.

Aside from Thomas, I don't really have anyone here anymore.

All my girls are off living their lives in other cities or states.

It really makes me sad some days.

I think about life at college so much.

Dorm life.

Resident Assistant life.

Hall Manager life.

Running from room to room laughing with friends.

Late nights watching movies or talking.

Midnight study sessions which seemed to be more like snacking sessions.

I miss the incredibly wonderful company of great friends.

The kind of company where you're laughing still your side is about to split over some inappropraite thing someone said, or the ditzy moment they had, or maybe you don't even know why you're laughing.

You're laughing because everyone else is.

Because you're so high on life.

Because you love your friends.

I miss that.

I miss my friends.

Dearly.

I miss my life at college.

Dearly.

And therefore, I am so incredibly excited to go back on Friday.

I have a lunch date planned with my dear Michelle.

And a dinner date with a wonderful group of Prucha Hall women!

I am so stinkin' excited.

Granted, it won't be all fun and games while I'm there.

I'm going back for a mandatory Student Teacher Workshop.

Which means I'll also get to see all my classmates I haven't seen since January.

Which will also be splendid,

sharing all our crazy stories we've accumulated so far.

But I'll be at this workshop from 8-4, but after that,

River Falls here I come!!

I can't wait to see my girls!!!

Enchanting

I prefer sunrise to sunset.

There's something about a sunrise that makes it seem rare & more beautiful.

Perhaps because half the time I'm never awake to see it happen.

And every day you see the sun set.

So to me, a sunrise seems almost magical.


That's why I actually love my early morning, long commutes to work every day.
By the way, I call my student teaching "work"
Even though it's not a job.
I'm not getting paid.
But it feels like I job.
So anywho, driving to school every morning.


I love it.
I drive east.
Right into the sunrise.
When I first started at the end of January, the sun wasn't up until almost second hour.
Now, it rises every morning as I'm driving to school...6:30am.
I love it.


Every morning is simply beautiful.
And to add to the beauty, I've always got my KTIS going.
KTIS is 98.5 on FM Radio.
It's the Christian music station.


There is absolutely no better way to start my morning than driving into the sunrise while listening to music that is uplifting, praising that wonderful Creator who painted the sky I see before me. 
Every morning I start my day so appreciative of my life.
So aware of all the blessings I have.
So in love with life.


I love the magical beauty of the sunrise.
And I encourage you to make the effort to notice it too.
Because it truly is enchanting.



Go with the Flow

There comes a time in your life when you reflect on your past:

everything you've been through, who you have become. 

Heck, there's probably several times in your life when you do that. 

Are we who we thought we'd be?

When I was little, I had all sorts of fantasies. 

I was going to be the next Crocodile Hunter.
And a Shamu trainer at Sea World.
And a dolphin trainer at the Minnesota Zoo.
And a marine biologist.
And a wildlife biologist.
I was determined to be something with animals.
And now I'm a teacher.

Why do we make plans?
Life never ever goes according to plan.
Heck, I never ever planned on converting to Mormonism.
I never planned on marrying Thomas when we started dating.
The plan was to grow up, go to college (for some animal-related degree), fall in love with a good Catholic man who also loved animals, get married once done with school, and make babies.


But life throws us curveballs.
And even as you adapt to those curveballs, 
even as you update your plans to your ever-changing life,
those plans still never seem to go the way you want them to.
The way you intended them to.


But maybe that's for the best.
I can't imagine a better life than the life I have with Thomas.
I can't imagine a different life.
Even though my plans changed, they changed for the better.
God had a different plan for me than the plans I had made for myself.


So why, then, do we get caught up on plans?
Why not just go with the flow?
Whatever's meant to be, will be.
Sometimes, that's hard to go by.
Sometimes it's hard to accept those heartbreaking curveballs.
Sometimes it's hard to accept the different plans God has for you, or maybe the ones you love.
But even though it's hard to accept, knowing that it's part of God's plan for us will hopefully help us adjust to things we don't expect.


It's always interesting for me, to look back on my life before and remember how I thought my life was going to go, and where I've ended up....thus far in my life.
Life is grand.
Because God is grand.

Always Waiting

I used to make jokes about my baby fever.

Well, now I still make jokes.

But there's a seriousness behind it all.

I ache for a baby.

Seriously.

I see babies, and my heart aches for Thomas & I to be parents.

I know it's too soon.

I know we can't afford to start a family yet,

but I think that's what makes the ache stronger.

I know now isn't the time,

but how much more time?

I'm tired of waiting.

Always waiting.

Two years through high school.

Four years through college.

Two years of a mission completely apart.

After nearly six years of waiting, we finally got married.

Now we're waiting for a home.

Waiting to be able to buy a puppy.

Waiting to be able to have a baby.

Waiting for Thomas to get a better job.

Waiting for the both of us to finish school.

Waiting to become a real teacher.

Always waiting.


When I talk to someone about it, 
I get the "We told you you got married too soon."
"You should have waited until you were done with school."
"Or you could afford a house."


But why wait?
We're madly in love.
And dying to be together after so much time apart.
And I think we made the right choice.
I'm so happy we got married as soon as we did.
Because in my mind, it wasn't soon.
It wasn't fast.
We went through a lot to get to this point.
But now what?
More waiting.
*sigh*
I shouldn't complain.
I am so blessed.
We have such a blessed life.
And I love this time we have together just the two of us.
I treasure it.
I relish in it every day.
But I long for a baby in my arms.
I long to be a mother.
I literally ache.


I see others my age with a baby, and I grow jealous.
And I hate feeling jealous of others.
Hate. It.
I watch mothers come to work with their babies all day, 
and I love cooing at them and playing with them in line, 
but it makes my heart ache.
I walk through the store holding Tom's hand, 
and we walk past the baby aisles,
and my eyes sting as I seriously fight back tears.
It feels like forever until we'll be ready to start our family.


I know our time will come to be parents.
And I'm sure it will actually be here before we know it.
So I just gotta suck it up for now.
And remember the blessings I already have in my life. 


Besides, let's be honest.
If there's one thing I'm a pro at, 
It's waiting for what I want most.

Wanna Feel Good??

At the risk of being repetitve, I'm gonna say it again:

I love country music.

A lot.

It's just "feel-good" music, ya know?!

So, in honor of liking to feel good, I've decided to share some of my favorites.

These are songs I love to listen to, particularly driving in the car...or in the shower...or cleaning around the house. Pretty much just whenever, I guess.

I just like to feel good all the time.

But listen to them.

They warm my heart.

And make me love life.

I hope they do the same for you.

...they also make me wanna be a cowgirl.

And live out west or down south.

But that's a whole 'nother story!

Home - By Dierks Bentley

Knee Deep - Zac Brown Band

Country Wide - Brantley Gilbert

Dirt Road Anthem - Jason Aldean

My Faves

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
Hope ya'll are spreading the love today!
(Instead of complaining about not having a boyfriend, or calling it "Single Awareness Day")
Hope ya'll are remembering to love your loved ones!

I have time (finally) to post some of my favorite pictures from our wedding pictures.
Enjoy!

Some Great Days!

It's been a very exciting couple of days!

Yesterday was a big deal, for two reasons.

One, my supervisor from the university came to observe me teaching for the first time yesterday.

I wasn't really nervous...

...until I saw him sitting in the back of the room.

But I tried to stay myself,

quirks & dorkiness & all.

And I'm glad I stayed me.

Because he rated me great!

He came for second hour,

and then we spent third hour in the media center going over his notes & scores for me, while Mrs. Gorman took over the class & taught.

On our way down to the media center,

he said to me:

"The biggest compliment I can give you, is that you are a natural. You were born to be a teacher."

Um....WOOHOOOOO!!

He went on saying my personality & flair is great, and that I am entertaining to watch, which means the kids are engaged too.

Yay!!

As we were going over my scores & comments, he explained that he used the word "solid" to explain my abilities so often because it looks bad on his part if he describes me as "excellent" as often as he wanted on his very first observation/scoring of me.

Eeeeeek!!

It was amazing.

Any doubts I've had about becoming a teacher?
Completely, completely, erased.

*ahhh*

Also, yesterday, was another super exciting event.

Drum roll please......

.....prrrrrrrppprrrrr.....

That's me making a drum rolling sound.

....pprrrrrrrrrppprrrrr....

{We got our wedding photographs!}

Can I getta WOOT! WOOT!

It was rather exciting!

FINALLY!

Remember, we went through Paisleyann Photography.

You can find her page on facebook.

They look AH-mazing!

My goal is to get them on facebook today,

and then post our favorites on here as well.

Today, just like yesterday, is another exciting day!

Thomas has his interview with Wells Fargo today!

Actually, he's in it at this moment!

Eeeek!!
I'm freaking out.

I'm dying to talk to him,

well, when he's finished anyway,

to see how it went.

We need this.

Really really bad.

His college switched him to night classes,

and Ihop won't let him switch to morning shifts.

So that means he'll be working Saturdays only.

Not okay...

If he gets this job as a teller at Wells Fargo,

he'll be making over $10/hr and he'll be getting around 40hrs a week.

Um, yes.

We need this.

With me only able to work about 20/hrs a week at Target because of student teaching, we need this income.

So my heart is full of prayer, and my fingers are crossed.

Today needs be just as great, if not greater, a day than yesterday!

Oh, and as a side note,
I updated my "Thomas & Me" page to include our marriage.

Delish Sweet & Sour Chicken

Thomas & I cooked dinner last night.

I don't like to brag....

....but I'm making an exception today.

Because it was delish.

And I never cook anything delish.

Ya know my addiction to pinterest?

Yup. It's resourceful.

I found the recipe on there.

It's Sweet & Sour Chicken.

And looks something like this:

It turned out great.

Perfect even.

We served it over rice.

Delish.

I think what I love most about this recipe, 

is that it puts a coating on the chicken.

So it gets a nice crispy coating on the outside.

Mmmmmm....

So. 

You want the recipe?
Here ya go!

Sweet and Sour Chicken

Yield: 4 servings

Prep Time: 30 minutes | Bake Time: 1 hour

For the Chicken:

3-4 boneless,skinless chicken breasts, cut into chunks

Salt and pepper, to taste

1 cup cornstarch

2 eggs, slightly beaten

¼ cup canola or vegetable oil

For the Sauce:

¾ cup sugar

4 tablespoons ketchup

½ cup vinegar (preferably rice or white)

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

2. Season chicken with salt and pepper.

3. Working in two batches, toss the chicken pieces in cornstarch and then coat with the egg. Heat the oil over medium-high heat and again in two batches, brown the chicken, turning it so that all sides are browned.

4. Place the chicken in a single layer in a 9×13 baking dish.

5. Whisk together the sauce ingredients in a small bowl and pour evenly over the chicken. Turn the chicken to ensure each piece is coated.

6. Bake for 1 hour, turning the chicken every 15 minutes.

It takes a lot of work, because of the turning every 15 minutes,

but ya gotta do it to keep it from burning on the bottom.

Don't freak out when the sauce is runny at the beginning,

(Thomas did...)

It thickens as it cooks.

There is one change we're going to make the next time we make it:

We're going to make twice as much sauce.

The amount you make is enough to coat the chicken,

but we wanted extra sauce to drizzle of the rice too.

So our suggestion:
When there is about a half hour left on the chicken, 

drizzle a second batch of sauce over it.

The sauce will have time to thicken for thirty minutes,

and then there's extra for the rice!

Anywho, if you try it, let me know what you think!
We loved it!

Hope you do too!

Lesson Plans & Interviews!

I am loving student teaching.

L.O.V.I.N.G.

It's been a week and a half now, and the past week I've been teaching.

Today was my first day taking the entire day, every class period.

It was a ton of fun.

Right now, I'm teaching her lessons that she's already planned.

February 21st I will start my own unit on WWI,

complete with my own lesson plans & activities.

I am stoked.

I've been working my booty off, trying to make the lessons as awesome as possible, and I'm slowly getting there!

But for right now, things are going so great.

I am having such a hoot.

I absolutely love doing it.

I feel so comfortable up in front of the students.

I feel like me. 

I've already built great relationships with a lot of the students.

It's such a cool feeling to be walking in the hallway, and have students shouting, "Hey Mrs. Macmillan!" down the hall, or giving you high fives as they pass.

It's a great feeling when you're helping a student with a concept they don't understand, and when you ask if they get it now, their response is: "Yes! You always explain things so I understand."

I just love the job.

I do.

Very very much.

Today as my first full day as a teacher was great.

Today was great for Thomas too!

So Thomas is starting night classes next semester.

So he was expecting to be able to move to mornings serving at ihop instead of nights.

Ihop said no.

So now Thomas is on the hunt for a new job.

Because one day a week (Saturday) of work will not be enough.

So today he went out on the hunt...

...and got some good news!

He stopped by Wells Fargo to see if he could apply to be a teller.

The man at the door showed him how to apply on the computer in the lobby.

At which point, Mike, our banker we've been working with, saw Tom and went over to talk with him, see how he was doing.

When Thomas told him he was applying for a job, Mike responded with, "You need to meet Dave, our branch manager."

So Mike went & got Dave and met & spoke with the manager today!
And after Dave spoke with Thomas, he said Thomas needed to meet Lisa, a big leader in the interview process.

So Thomas met Lisa, an interviewer.

Thomas talked with Dave some more, and Dave told Tom that when the application asks if Tom knows anyone who currently works at Wells Fargo, to put Dave's name down.

And then to email him once Tom's application was submitted online.

So, Tom came home, filled out the application right away.

Then he emailed Dave.

Then Wells Fargo sent him an email to call.

So Thomas called.

And spoke to someone (I'm not sure who) about his application & experience.

And then he was asked to come in for an interview!

So Thomas has an interview with Wells Fargo next Wednesday! 

I'm sooo excited for him!

This would be an ideal job for him! 

So keep your fingers crossed!

Our hopes are high!

Yes, 

Today's been a good day indeed, in the Macmillan world!