So. We decided to break my water.
It was 6:00am.
It didn't hurt, really didn't even feel a thing.
Quick and painless.
Dr. Mirau wished me good luck, and left, both of us thinking we wouldn't see the other again...
My next contraction came about two minutes after she broke my waters.
It was about 10 times more intense than any of my previous contractions.
It caught me so off guard!
A minute later I was having another incredibly tense contraction.
I couldn't catch my breath, and doubled over in the bed.
Within minutes, I moved from standing and walking through my contractions and having conversations with Thomas and Jamie (my nurse), to unable to breath or even sit up for the contractions.
A few minutes after that, I was screaming.
Literally, SCREAMING, with each contraction.
And also crying.
I broke down crying to Thomas, sobbing about how I couldn't do it: I needed an epidural.
Then another contraction came.
I stopped crying for an epidural and began screaming for one.
I said, "If this is the pain at FOUR centimeters, there is NO way I can go any more."
I said, "If this is the pain at FOUR centimeters, there is NO way I can go any more."
I couldn't breathe, I couldn't focus.
The contractions were SO intense, so close together, and SO out of NOWHERE!
Thomas was fighting with me to get me to breathe (I was hyperventilating), the nurse was trying to help him, and all I could do was scream and cry and curl up in a ball on the bed.
In the few seconds between contractions, I just sobbed.
Poor Thomas started crying too.
When I asked him why, he said he was prepared for me to scream at him about how much I hate him - not prepared for my sobs of pain.
He said he felt helpless and wanted to take my pain away.
Have I mentioned before how much I love my husband?
He's such a sweetheart.
Anywho...
Poor Thomas started crying too.
When I asked him why, he said he was prepared for me to scream at him about how much I hate him - not prepared for my sobs of pain.
He said he felt helpless and wanted to take my pain away.
Have I mentioned before how much I love my husband?
He's such a sweetheart.
Anywho...
They hooked me up to an IV - I needed to have an IV for 20 minutes before I could get an epidural.
In the meantime, as the liquids coursed through me, I cried to Thomas and just about broke his fingers.
There was no letting up.
Then it happened.
I started screaming that I needed to push.
Thomas and the nurse started frantically trying to calm me down - I was only at 4cm, NO pushing!!
I was screaming and crying, telling Thomas I was scared - I knew pushing would hurt the baby, but I couldn't NOT push.
The nurse paged the doctor back, and she immediately checked my cervix: I was definitely not at a four - I had gone all the way to 9cm in a matter of minutes.
No wonder I felt I needed an epidural and wanted to push...
In another minute, I was fully dilated to 10cm - and finally able to push.
And this is the point the anesthesiologist decides to come in for my epidural...
Too late.
Grrr....
The doctor needed to use the vaccuum because Benjamin's heart rate was dropping because the labor was progressing too fast, so he needed to come out as fast as possible.
I pushed for 15 minutes before Benjamin finally made his debut.
And it's true what they say about labor: as soon as the baby is delivered, all the pain instantly goes away. Instantly.
I had pictured and daydreamed about the moment Benjamin would come into this world forever:
Benjamin entering the world, the nurses putting him on my chest right away, skin to skin, with Thomas by our side, kissing my forehead, and all of us together - one little brand new happy family.
That's not how it went at all...
(To be continued...)
In the meantime, as the liquids coursed through me, I cried to Thomas and just about broke his fingers.
There was no letting up.
Then it happened.
I started screaming that I needed to push.
Thomas and the nurse started frantically trying to calm me down - I was only at 4cm, NO pushing!!
I was screaming and crying, telling Thomas I was scared - I knew pushing would hurt the baby, but I couldn't NOT push.
The nurse paged the doctor back, and she immediately checked my cervix: I was definitely not at a four - I had gone all the way to 9cm in a matter of minutes.
No wonder I felt I needed an epidural and wanted to push...
In another minute, I was fully dilated to 10cm - and finally able to push.
And this is the point the anesthesiologist decides to come in for my epidural...
Too late.
Grrr....
The doctor needed to use the vaccuum because Benjamin's heart rate was dropping because the labor was progressing too fast, so he needed to come out as fast as possible.
I pushed for 15 minutes before Benjamin finally made his debut.
And it's true what they say about labor: as soon as the baby is delivered, all the pain instantly goes away. Instantly.
I had pictured and daydreamed about the moment Benjamin would come into this world forever:
Benjamin entering the world, the nurses putting him on my chest right away, skin to skin, with Thomas by our side, kissing my forehead, and all of us together - one little brand new happy family.
That's not how it went at all...
(To be continued...)
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