Priorities

I never write anymore. Gosh, it's been over a month since I've last written...sheesh! Remember the days when I'd write a couple times a week? 

My time is very precious to me these days. I am a stickler with my time. Well, my time with Benjamin anyway. You see, I'm home with him for about an hour in the morning, and about four at night before he goes to bed. That's five hours a day with my little peanut. Five hours. Too little. 

So those five hours are very precious to me. So I don't sit and write anymore. I don't even like to talk on the phone (I've become HORRIBLE at returning phone calls...). And I even hate when I have to make a pit stop at the grocery store or the gas station on my way home from work. I am just so anxious to get home and relish in those precious minutes with my far-too-quickly-growing baby boy.

I don't sketch anymore. I read far less. I can't remember the last time I shopped for myself, now I just shop for Benjamin. I haven't painted my nails in months. My life revolves around Benjamin - I don't do anything for myself anymore.

I guess you could count cooking dinner every night as something for myself, since I LOVE cooking, but sometimes even that is a chore, and I resent having to do it. I live my life completely differently than how I lived it 6 months ago. It's true what they say: once you have a kid, they control every aspect of your life.

But I don't see that as a bad thing...

Instead of spending an uninterrupted hour curled up on the couch reading a good book and a cup of hot cocoa, I splash around in bath time with Benjamin.

Instead of painting my toes while I sit on the floor watching Grey's Anatomy listening to Meredith and Christina divulge in their latest stories, I play peek-a-boo and tickle monster and get to listen to the giggles that melt my heart. 

Instead of Thomas and I talking about our days while eating dinner together, we talk about the funny faces Benjamin makes as he eats pureed carrots and zucchinis with us at the dinner table. 

Instead of Thomas and I playing cards together after work, we sing silly songs and try to teach Benjamin how to roll and scoot and crawl. 

Yes, my life is very different these days; my time prioritized in different ways. 

Much better ways.

I love my little family.

I love being a mom.

I love my Benjamin.