Thomas Update

So I am thinking it's time for another Elder Macmillan update! My Thomas is doing great out on his mission!! He is now in Burley, ID and his new companion is Elder Brace and they've been getting along real well. Elder Brace goes home next month, so Tom says he's grateful to be with someone so experienced so he can learn so much from him.

He's loving his new area! He says the members there are very passionate about missionary work and help the missionaries a lot with finding people to teach and keeping them involved in the church. They had a baptism last week, and they're teaching a woman named Chris who is excited and ready for baptism as well!

This upcoming weekend is General Conference, so, needless to say, him and I are very excited. As is every active member in the church, I'm assuming! He is going to be watching it with Chris and the family fellowshipping her, so that will definitely be a fun, uplifiting, and strengthening experience for him! Plus, I am a little extra excited about this General Conference because when this weekend passes, it means only one more conference till he comes home to me!

So, Thomas is still doing great on his mission! He's loving the work, loving the Lord, loving the people! It's been a great experience for him and I know will continue to be the next 10 months!

Ponderings

I was thinking the other day,  as a friend was telling me a story, how when we talk about people to other people, we include their skin color. That is, if their skin color is different than our own.

Seriously, whenever a white friend of mine is telling me a story that involves someone of a different color, they make sure to include it in the story. "This black guy" or "This asian girl." I do it too when I tell stories. I am wondering if people of different races do the same thing. "This white chick."

Why do we do it? Why is it relevent to the story? I mean, really it's not. The story is the same whether the person is blue, or black, or white, or yellow, or green. It's not something that makes the story any better or changes how the story goes. It's pointless.

Another thing about stories. I dunno if this is a Minnesotan thing or a generational thing or what. But why is it, when we're laughing hysterically, we always say, "That's SO funny!" I mean, seriously. Isn't it obvious that it's funny? You're laughing so hard you're crying. I've never understood that! Again, I do that too. ALL the time. And I always laugh even more inside when I think about it after I say it. Obviously Christie knows what she said is funny, we're both rolling on the floor unable to catch out breath.

Anywho, those are my thoughts for the day.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

 

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

 

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

 

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Longing

This is the worst part of it all: the night. I have an amazing day. I laugh my butt off all day, I am having a hoot with my friends, I am high on life, just living and loving every moment, and then the night rolls in...and it hits me like a knife in my gut: he's gone.

And it's not just that he's gone, it's that he's been gone for 14 months and he'll be gone for another 10 months. It's that I can't call him and talk to him. It's that I can't fall asleep in his arms. It's that I can't gush to him about how awesome life is. It's that I can't laugh with him. It's everything.

My heart breaks. I fight back the tears. Just about every night. Still, after 14 months, just about every night. I feel kinda pathetic admiting it, but it's true. As soon as I'm on my own, and my brain starts to wind down, the pit in my stomach starts to grow. It's physical, I swear. I swear I can feel  this rock in my gut, this pain in my heart.

I long for him. I don't think "miss" is the right word for the way I feel. I don't think "miss" is deep enough or strong enough. I long for him - I think that's more appropriate. I long to talk to him, to kiss him, to just be able to reach out and touch him, to know he's there.

I don't like blogging about it, but I hate talking about it even more, and I've gotta get these thoughts and feelings outta me somehow, so this is going to have to do. For the next ten months, this is the best I've got.

The Me's

I was thinking the other about how much context plays a part in who I am. I feel like there are different kinds of "me" and those different me's come out in different situations. And people, depending on the context of our interaction, only see certain types of me.

If you only know me through school or in class, you see the quiet me. I seem shy. In class, I always sit in the front row. I don't talk much during class, I am not a big participater. It's not because I'm quiet, it's because I am soaking everything in. I take in what others say and what others input in class discussions. I am busy taking notes and being a sponge. I come off as quiet and shy.

If you know me through church, you know the always smiling me. You know the faith strong me, with an unshaking testimony and an endless love for my savior. You know the passionate me.

If you know me through my life as an RA or an HM, you see the crazy, fearless, outgoing me. You see the obnoxiously loud laughter, the dirty mind, the confident, the overly peppy & positive, outgoing me. When I'm in RA mode (or now hall manager mode) I have no problem going up to strangers and introducing myself. I have no problem being the real, crazy me because people expect RAs to be that way anyway. It's like some unwritten job requirement.

If you know me as a close friend, you not only know the crazy, obnoxious me, but you know the secretive me. You know the mountains I'm climbing and the battles I'm fighting. You know the lovesick, letter-dependent, month-counting me.

There are lots of different me's. But if you're lucky, you'll get to know the real me.

Bada ba ba ba...I'm lovin' it!

It's a perfectly gorgeous day today. Seriously, the perfect kind of weather. A perfectly clear sunny cloudless sky. It's not too hot, or too cold, and every now and then there's a soft breeze. It's positively beautiful.

I went for a walk down by the Kinnickinick River this afternoon. I LOVE being outside on days like today, and I love burying myself in nature. Walking down by the river is perfect because I feel so secluded. There's no noise, just nature. I went with a friend of mine and we a good talk about some good stuff...oh, and I kinda learned how to skip rocks.

Anywho, after the walk I was thinking about life, and all that I have to be grateful. Lately I feel like I've been focusing so much on all the negative things going on in my life. Stress with my new job, my new classes, friends, Tom, yadda yadda yadda. But I was thinking today, as I was in heaven down by the river, about how wonderful life is and all the blessings in my life.

I have amazing friends. Lately I've been getting bogged down because of some of my friends...well let's just I've been having friends issues. But for the most part, I have amazing friends. I have wonderful people in my life who make me laugh and who love me.

I have a great family. I know my family situation isn't ideal, and I do struggle with it a lot, but I have wonderful parents who do so much for me. I have AMAZING cousins who I love more than anything!! And I have great aunts and uncles who love me and take care of me.

I have a job that I ADORE! Sometimes, heck a lot of times, I complain about being so busy with my job and how overwhelming it can get, but I love love love LOVE working in residence life. I am fortunate enough to have a job that has changed my life so much and has made me into a much better person. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to be a Resident Assistant and now a Hall Manager.

I have an amazing boyfriend. I know I whine all the time about missing Tom. I complain about how hard waiting is, and how long two years is. But I am sooo incredibly lucky to have such an amazingly wonderful man to call my own, even if we do have to be apart for two years.

Life is so good. Lately I've had a hard time seeing the glass half full, but today, for some reason, I'm just genuinely happy with my life and where I am right now. I look back at my life and how different it is, how so much has changed so fast, and I can't believe where I am. I never saw my life going this way, but holy moly am I so grateful it has. I love my life, every bit about it. Even the hard bits, because that's where we grow the most. That's where we find out who we really are. And, if I may be a little arrogant for once, I love who I am today and the life I've lived.

Twig

The name is Katie Jo. I'm 5'2". I weigh, on the average day, 97 pounds. I hate my body.

Okay, hate is a strong word. I dislike it very much. And I feel like because I am skinny, I am not allowed to dislike my body. According to the rest of the world, I should be in love with my tiny waist and twig-like arms. But nope. I am not.

I am trying to gain weight. Heck, I've been trying to gain weight for years. I would like to be 110 pounds. In other words, I would like to be able to donate blood. I can't at the moment because I don't meet the weight requirements. How ridiculously embarrassing is that? Very.

I am a size zero. That, to me, is disgusting. I am a freakin' zero. A number we use to desrcibe something that does not exist. I am non-existant. I hate that. Hate it. But according to other people, it's wonderful. I don't think so. I hate shopping for clothes because nothing is in my size. Nothing fits my waist...I don't even have a stinkin' waist. That's probably why I am obsessed with shoes. They always fit.

I hate eating with people. I feel like they're judging me, watching to make sure I actually eat. I have been asked before if I am anorexic. Several times. And they were seriously asking. I find that disgusting. I hate it. Anyone who knows me well enough knows I can eat like a horse...as long as the food is good. When Tom and I go out to eat, half the time I eat more than him. I guess I just have a high metabolism...and I wish I didn't. I eat the junkiest, most unhealthy foods. I drown myself in calories and carbs. No difference.

I work out, I run. Not because I wanna lose weight, but I wanna gain it. Muscle weighs more than fat, right? So I try to build muscle. Still no help.

I hate when people say things like, "Oh my gosh you're so skinny" even if they mean it as a compliment. I hate it. I hate being so skinny. I hate people making comments about my size. Talk about how short I am all you want, don't talk about my weight.

I look in the mirror and I don't feel attractive. When I wear skirts and dresses, and I stand in front of my mirror to see how my shoes match, I hate looking at my legs, my twigs.

I feel like I am not allowed to be unhappy with my body because girls tell me they're jealous. I feel like if I talk about being unhappy with my size, people will judge me. I'm afraid they'll think I'm just doing it for attention, or fishing for compliments.

Whatever, I guess. For now, I'll just keep workin' at fixing myself.

Death Isn't Always Morbid

I was thinking about my death today. Yes, I know, morbid. I don't know why I was, it just popped into my head randomly. I don't know about you, but I want to be cremated when I die. I'll donate all my organs, whatever I can (what do I need them for after I'm dead, anyway?) and then I want my ashes spread into the wind, let it take me wherever it wants me to go.

I was thinking about my funeral. I don't want a funeral. I want a party. I want upbeat music, my favorite tunes. I want lots of food. I want a bouncy castle. I  don't want people to cry, I want them to laugh. My death will not (I am determined) be a sad affair because I will have lived my life to it's fullest and everyone will know how rich my life was.

Now, when I say "live my life to the fullest," my idea of that concept is probably different than yours. When I think of that phrase, I don't think of things like skydiving, or climbing a mountain, or doing crazy stunts like that. I think of random moments. Small random moments filled with people. Filled with people, love, and laughter. That to me is living life to the fullest. It's about smiling when you want to cry, singing when you want to scream, dancing when you want to run away from everything, and praying when you want to give up. It's about making the absolute most out of every moment. It's about refusing to see the glass half empty and always finding that silver lining. Call me cheesy. Call me naive. It's who I am. And I believe it was makes the difference between just a life and a good life.

And the difference between a good life and a great life? All those listed above and the concept of living for others. Be selfless in life. It's amazing how being selfless can make you feel so good. Help others. Even if it's small things like holding a door open, smiling as you walk past a stranger, hugging your friend hello (or goodbye), telling someone you appreciate them. When you live for others, life is more rewarding. At least that's how it's been for me. It seems like the more I live to help others, the more I love life. I find that surrounding oneself in positive relationships brings so much happiness.

When I die, I hope people remember me as the girl who was always smiling, the girl who loved life and lived it to the fullest. I want to be remembered as someone who did all that she could for others. The girl who loved to laugh, be silly, and have fun. The girl who was carefree and loved the simple pleasures in life. The girl who saw the silver lining in every stormcloud and made the most of every curveball life threw her way. The girl who made every moment the best moment of her life. When I die, people aren't going to cry because I'm gone, they are going to smile because they'll know my life was a great one.