Zero

I'm 5'2".

On a good day, I weigh 103 pounds.

I'm a size zero in jeans.

An extra small in tops.

I hate my body.

I feel like I'm not allowed to talk about hating my body.

Because I'm skinny.

Everybody wants to be skinny.

So I'm supposed to like my body, right?
If I complain about my body, people think I'm just fishing for compliments.

So not true.

I hate when people say things like, "Your SO skinny."

Or they make jokes about my size.

Or they try and touch my waist.

Hate it.

I'm a twig.
I look in the mirror, and I don't feel attractive.

I don't feel sexy.

I hate wearing a swimsuit.

The other day we went to pick up our bridesmaids dresses.

When I ordered mine, and the lady was taking my measurements, she made a dozen comments about how little I am.

We ordered my dress...in the smallest possible size.

So when we went to pick it up, I tried it on...

I was swimming in it.

It's four and half inches too long.

It needs to be taken in a couple inches and the straps made smaller.

*sigh*

I hate my body.

Even though I'm "not allowed" to hate my body.

I'm a size zero.

The number we use to describe things that don't exist.

I can't gain weight for the life of me.

No matter what I eat, or how much.

I don't gain an ounce.

I just want another ten pounds.

That's it.

One of these days, I am going to weigh enough to donate blood.

One of these days...